I've been following a blog related to living as a Godly wife and mother. The mothering conversations didn't apply to me, but I still read them and enjoyed the blog. I was gleaning ideas on how to be a good wife to Chris, and how to run our home. A few weeks ago, I actually commented on one of the blog posts. I guess the writer decided she needed to set me straight on the issue, so she e-mailed me. Here's what she said:
Thanks for your inquiry. Unfortunately, I don't believe it is biblical for the wife to be working outside the home after the arrival of children, so I do not believe I can address that issue. I would encourage you to search the Scriptures and pray together with your husband on the topic. I believe there are great benefits and rewards for being at home and raising my children. I know I could not personally successfully manage a career and my home simultaneously. My goal is to simply care for, nurture, and train my children to love the Lord. That is a full time job. I pray the Lord would guide you in this decision making process. It is certainly possible to live on one income. I can testify to that! And it is a beautiful adventure!
She doesn't believe it is biblical? I have searched Scripture, and my Bible seems to have left that part out. Actually, in Proverbs 31, the woman Soloman described works A LOT outside of her home. She makes clothes and sells them. Sounds like a job to me. I am not trying to say that her (the blogger's) choice of staying at home is stupid. Far from it. If I felt God wanted me in my home 24/7 to raise my children, I would do everything in my power to do it. I don't feel like God brought me through 4 years of nursing school to NOT be a nurse. I plan on working fewer hours once we've had children. I also plan to work less after we're out of debt. But I don't believe God wants to me drop my career and hard work. What would I be teaching my children then?
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
?*&%#$@
I am constantly trying to be better. I'm trying to be a better friend, daughter, wife, nurse and Christian. But I keep failing. I keep telling myself to call all my friends on my day off. But I don't. I keep planning to spend the afternoon with my parents, but I never go. I try to take better care of my husband's needs (a clean home, a relaxing dinner, etc) but when I get off work I let him do it, because I tell myself that I worked too hard all day. I try to spend time in Scripture each day and talk to God throughout my day, but, again, I rationalize that I'm too tired on days that I work. I am so frustrated with myself sometimes.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
SnOMG
Crazy, crazy times in Indy this week. As any Midwesterner knows, we're under the deadly clutches of a blizzard. Which, thanks to the weather persons I now know, has nothing to do with snow -- it's wind. The scary weather has me thinking (a dangerous past time -- I know!) that I'm not sure about my career path. Just follow me . . .
Going into nursing school, I wanted to be an ER nurse, just like my mom. I wanted to get people in, save their lives, then ship 'em out. No "nurse-patient relationship" involved. Then, I got a job with the VA in SICU, and I fell in love. Having the same patients for a few days wasn't that bad, especially if they were vented and sedated. I could talk to my patients, but not deal with them talking back. I felt in control. I loved it. Nothing lasts forever, though, and I found out there wouldn't be a job for me after graduation. I had to leave SICU and go into a private company. I applied EVERYWHERE. I got turned down over 30 times. Many applications pre-rejected me. When I clicked "Less than 1 year experience" the online app would close out automatically. Ouch. Finally, somewhere called back and I took a job with an LTAC.
My first few months as an RN, to be frank, sucked. I cried before my shifts, desperate to find another job. I got physically ill thinking about going. Thankfully, I found a few places to interview me, and I went back into post-surgical nursing. Med-surg, but still surgical. I'm not going to lie, I rocked out orientation. My preceptor constantly reinforced that I was doing a great job. I felt awesome. But for some reason, after orientation, I fell off the Awesomeness Wagon, and fell somewhere around mediocre. I'm questioning whether this type of nursing is what I should be doing.
When the storm hit, I felt myself getting angry that my job would ask me to risk my and my husband's safety so I could get to work. If I get hurt, how can I take care of people later? And wouldn't they be upset if I missed even more work after an accident? I was feeling pretty bitter when I called to say that I couldn't get into our car. Now, sitting here, I'm wondering if this means I should be in this job. I'm not quitting, but it makes me think.
When Chris and I have children, will I be able to leave them all day for work? Will I be able to sacrifice having dinner with them every night? Am I ready to be a working, 21st century wife? I don't know. And I don't know what God wants from me, either.
Going into nursing school, I wanted to be an ER nurse, just like my mom. I wanted to get people in, save their lives, then ship 'em out. No "nurse-patient relationship" involved. Then, I got a job with the VA in SICU, and I fell in love. Having the same patients for a few days wasn't that bad, especially if they were vented and sedated. I could talk to my patients, but not deal with them talking back. I felt in control. I loved it. Nothing lasts forever, though, and I found out there wouldn't be a job for me after graduation. I had to leave SICU and go into a private company. I applied EVERYWHERE. I got turned down over 30 times. Many applications pre-rejected me. When I clicked "Less than 1 year experience" the online app would close out automatically. Ouch. Finally, somewhere called back and I took a job with an LTAC.
My first few months as an RN, to be frank, sucked. I cried before my shifts, desperate to find another job. I got physically ill thinking about going. Thankfully, I found a few places to interview me, and I went back into post-surgical nursing. Med-surg, but still surgical. I'm not going to lie, I rocked out orientation. My preceptor constantly reinforced that I was doing a great job. I felt awesome. But for some reason, after orientation, I fell off the Awesomeness Wagon, and fell somewhere around mediocre. I'm questioning whether this type of nursing is what I should be doing.
When the storm hit, I felt myself getting angry that my job would ask me to risk my and my husband's safety so I could get to work. If I get hurt, how can I take care of people later? And wouldn't they be upset if I missed even more work after an accident? I was feeling pretty bitter when I called to say that I couldn't get into our car. Now, sitting here, I'm wondering if this means I should be in this job. I'm not quitting, but it makes me think.
When Chris and I have children, will I be able to leave them all day for work? Will I be able to sacrifice having dinner with them every night? Am I ready to be a working, 21st century wife? I don't know. And I don't know what God wants from me, either.
Monday, January 24, 2011
I woke up this morning, made my husband breakfast, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to the news. My husband bustled around our small apartment, preparing himself for his cold drive north. At 7:00, I gave him a kiss and sent him off to school. I've found myself envious of him these past few months. It's hard to believe I've been out of school for 6 months now. It hit me a bit when Chris went back to school in August, but I was still incredibly busy with the wedding. Now, after he's gone back for spring semester, I feel it intensely. I'm in the business of my everyday life. I work 3 days a week and attempt to have a "life" on the other 4. When I go to the hospital, I stand alone. Students look to me to teach them. But I'm still learning.
God is teaching me to let go and grow up, but I feel myself resisting. I'm already considering going into another nursing program. I know I need to wait. I'm not confident in my practice. I have no business being an advanced-practice nurse. I'm praying that God will give my mind rest and contentment in this time of my life. I must learn to be content in my job and with my education. I must avoid the temptation to say, "It will get better when . . . " or "I will be happier if . . ." When those things happpen, there will always be something else. It's life.
All I can do is pray and study His Word.
God is teaching me to let go and grow up, but I feel myself resisting. I'm already considering going into another nursing program. I know I need to wait. I'm not confident in my practice. I have no business being an advanced-practice nurse. I'm praying that God will give my mind rest and contentment in this time of my life. I must learn to be content in my job and with my education. I must avoid the temptation to say, "It will get better when . . . " or "I will be happier if . . ." When those things happpen, there will always be something else. It's life.
All I can do is pray and study His Word.
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Change
I highly doubt anyone will notice this. I don't believe I have readers, nor do I believe I ever will. However, for some time, I've considered converting this blog into something more personal for myself. It's clear to me now that the gardens aren't going to happen any time soon. My friends and I are young dreamers, and we're all currently living out different dreams. Brian is living out his dream in California, and I'm proud of him for that. To ask him to spearhead this garden with me would be selfish. Renee is busy juggling her two jobs and her blooming relationship, figuring out how to be a young professional in a very tough field (criminal justice). Sam is busy living out her life with Jennifer, deciding what's best for the two of them. And Chris and I are newlyweds, trying to figure out marriage. It's overwhelming and wonderful. So the garden must wait.
My new purpose for Katallagei (because the name is no less relevant) is to throw out my ideas. I want to share what God is teaching me. I'm in an amazing season of life -- God has put spiritually mature women in my life who are pouring their knowledge on me. The women in my CityGroup are teaching me how to be a Proverbs 31 woman. My pastors are challenging me to be in true community with the church and the Irvington community. And another young couple has taken Chris and me under their wing to help us manage our finances.
Look for me to post challenges and celebrations, failures and successes. I'm learning to embrace them all.
My new purpose for Katallagei (because the name is no less relevant) is to throw out my ideas. I want to share what God is teaching me. I'm in an amazing season of life -- God has put spiritually mature women in my life who are pouring their knowledge on me. The women in my CityGroup are teaching me how to be a Proverbs 31 woman. My pastors are challenging me to be in true community with the church and the Irvington community. And another young couple has taken Chris and me under their wing to help us manage our finances.
Look for me to post challenges and celebrations, failures and successes. I'm learning to embrace them all.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Inspiration from a Rocker
Please go read this. I don't care if you're atheist, agnostic, angry, Islam, Jewish, Christian or just confused. This is important. This is crucial. This IS our mission.
http://usliberals.about.com/od/faithinpubliclife/a/BonoSermon.htm
Please don't overlook this speech because it's 4 years old, or from Bono. Don't ignore it because you're conservative. Read it with an open mind.
And, if you're out there reading Katallagei's blog, leave us a message. We want to know we're not the only ones out here. We're posting this for you.
BLESSINGS!
http://usliberals.about.com/od/faithinpubliclife/a/BonoSermon.htm
Please don't overlook this speech because it's 4 years old, or from Bono. Don't ignore it because you're conservative. Read it with an open mind.
And, if you're out there reading Katallagei's blog, leave us a message. We want to know we're not the only ones out here. We're posting this for you.
BLESSINGS!
It's annoying but justice and equality are mates. Aren't they? Justice always wants to hang out with equality. And equality is a real pain.
Monday, August 2, 2010
I have faith in my weeds
Since my last post, my brother has been keeping his eyes out for veggies. Which is pretty difficult, considering the weeds have taken over our modest plot. Some of the weeds are quite lovely, if you actually look at them. A few of them are flowering (what are those?). Yesterday, he came into my room and said, "Hey sis, you have a cucumber down there." I immediately jumped up, threw on flippie floppies, and got my behind down our hill. I went to the area I remember planting my pickling cucumber plants, and all I could find were tiny little prickly beginnings. The same I've been seeing all season. But then, with the help of Chris's keen eyes, I saw one. A beautiful, solitary cucumber. Perfect pickle size. I reached down and plucked my little pickle, and I beamed. To be honest, I don't really like cucumbers, but in that moment, I loved that one. Gardening glory.
After I found my pretty little pickle, I surveyed the rest of the garden. I am happy to report (to whoever may read this humble blog) that the garden is still producing edibles. Our tomato plants are covered in green spheres of goodness, and our pepper plants are getting spicey! Danny brought a huge banana pepper inside.
Forgive me for being deep, but doesn't this sound a lot like our lives? We start out with big dreams and lots of anticipation. It all starts well. Then sometime later, another dream pulls on our attention and weeds pop up. At first, we can handle the weeds. Plucking and tugging until our dream clears up again. But as time goes on, the weeds take over, and we can't figure out which parts are weed and which parts are dream.
But this week I've learned to have faith in my weeds. If you're willing to look through them, they can still allow a dream to produce fruit (or veggies). I once read another garden blog which said anyone who can throw a seed in the ground and water it can produce at least a minimal amount of edible material. Katallagei is proving him correct. Our weeds are doing quite well.
After I found my pretty little pickle, I surveyed the rest of the garden. I am happy to report (to whoever may read this humble blog) that the garden is still producing edibles. Our tomato plants are covered in green spheres of goodness, and our pepper plants are getting spicey! Danny brought a huge banana pepper inside.
Forgive me for being deep, but doesn't this sound a lot like our lives? We start out with big dreams and lots of anticipation. It all starts well. Then sometime later, another dream pulls on our attention and weeds pop up. At first, we can handle the weeds. Plucking and tugging until our dream clears up again. But as time goes on, the weeds take over, and we can't figure out which parts are weed and which parts are dream.
But this week I've learned to have faith in my weeds. If you're willing to look through them, they can still allow a dream to produce fruit (or veggies). I once read another garden blog which said anyone who can throw a seed in the ground and water it can produce at least a minimal amount of edible material. Katallagei is proving him correct. Our weeds are doing quite well.
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