I woke up this morning, made my husband breakfast, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to the news. My husband bustled around our small apartment, preparing himself for his cold drive north. At 7:00, I gave him a kiss and sent him off to school. I've found myself envious of him these past few months. It's hard to believe I've been out of school for 6 months now. It hit me a bit when Chris went back to school in August, but I was still incredibly busy with the wedding. Now, after he's gone back for spring semester, I feel it intensely. I'm in the business of my everyday life. I work 3 days a week and attempt to have a "life" on the other 4. When I go to the hospital, I stand alone. Students look to me to teach them. But I'm still learning.

God is teaching me to let go and grow up, but I feel myself resisting. I'm already considering going into another nursing program. I know I need to wait. I'm not confident in my practice. I have no business being an advanced-practice nurse. I'm praying that God will give my mind rest and contentment in this time of my life. I must learn to be content in my job and with my education. I must avoid the temptation to say, "It will get better when . . . " or "I will be happier if . . ." When those things happpen, there will always be something else. It's life.

All I can do is pray and study His Word.