I'm starting to find my identity wrapped up in God's again.
These past few months have been good for my growth. As anyone who reads back can tell, work was my main concern for a while. I felt trapped. I couldn't maintain mine and Chris's finances by doing anything else, but I didn't feel good about where I was, either. I can't tell you the moment it happened, but over the weeks, I felt more comfortable in my work. I stopped dreading my shifts, and while I was there, I felt as if I could handle the load. Now that my career is on a better path, I've been able to focus on my personal walk.
I have to give credit where credit is due: my Church family has been more than necessary in my journey; more specifically, my CityGroup. These men and women have been the best examples of God's love to me! They genuinely desire to know me and Chris, and to see us grow. Many nights, the men and women separate so we can pray as sisters or brothers together. I find myself confessing my sins to my sisters in a way I've never done before. I am able to tell them how I'm struggling, and they never judge or condemn. Instead, they love me where I am, and lead me toward a better way.
Right now, they're encouraging me to take better care of myself. They aren't making me feel fat and lazy. They're encouraging me to be what God created me to be, a strong, healthy woman. And they're gently reminding me that our God is a God of order, not chaos. So, in a way, I'm worshiping Him by keeping my home and life in order. I'm also seeing how God wants me to care for my body, as much for my husband as for myself. God didn't create me to let myself waste away!
This feeling is beautiful and encouraging.
